Gold is Old

AMMAN — During the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, amidst the uncertainty of its duration and its financial impact, my mother gave me a piece of advice one night: to cut down my spending, especially anything deemed a luxury, and to limit my purchases of jewelry and accessories to genuine, yellow gold. اضافة اعلان

She wanted me to adjust my habits from acquiring ornaments to accumulating savings. She said: “Do what Arab women do!” meaning I should buy yellow gold only and save it.

It was not hard for me to understand my mother’s advice, as well as her motivations and fears. The history of my mother’s family and their journey from the Caucasus to Turkey, then to Syria and finally to Jordan, with all the loss of life and properties, and all the sorrow, has made her view the future with fear and suspicion. 

I did  not take my mother’s advice as seriously as she expected me to. I told myself that the times had changed; my life was safer and more stable compared to hers. 

However, that did not prevent me from thinking about that advice because it came when fear was controlling the whole world, and her last sentence, “Do what Arab women do!” triggered many thoughts about the Arab society I grew up in.

Because Arab society is at its origin a tribal society, one cannot discuss the relationship between Arab women and gold in isolation from the society’s tribalism. 

The ancient struggle with the harsh desert, the raids, invasions, competition over water sources and pastures, and the continuous travel were all essential elements of tribal life.

Such life required a permanent state of readiness to face all that could be described as dangerous, regardless of the source of danger. One of the most important aspects of this state of alert was the ability to escape danger as quickly as possible. 

The Arab world has been in continuous turmoil. Wars, revolutions, waves of asylum seekers and forced migrations continue, even after the stage of direct tribal rule and conflict passed.   

All this impacted the goals of Arab women regarding the possession of gold, and it became different from the perspective of women in more stable areas around the world. 

In the minds of women who were constantly threatened by one type of danger or another, it becomes more rational to save their money in the form of gold coins that are easy to carry or wear and to be able to escape with the lightest and most valuable load possible if necessary.

More recently, gold for Arab women went beyond its traditional importance to becoming a sign of the appreciation, respect and authority granted to her by her family. 

Gold constitutes the biggest part of the dowry that a groom gives to his bride. The groom presents the bride with the amount of gold dictated by her family as a guarantee of his commitment, sincerity and respect for the woman, when he proposes to her. 

This practice often turns into a competition for the title of bride with the most valuable dowry, which puts enormous financial pressure on the groom. 

This is where the irony of my mother’s advice shows. In Circassian culture, the concept of dowry, with gold as a significant component, does not exist as an essential condition for the marriage process. Thus, contrary to her cultural roots, a Circassian woman sees gold more from an Arab perspective.

In Arab culture, it is not only the groom that offers gold to the bride; the bride’s family also gives her gold as an almost obligatory ritual. Unlike the groom, the bride’s family gives gold to her as financial aid to the newlyweds and to display the wealth of her family, thus granting her power and material security that the groom must respect and honor. 

An Arab woman may feel threatened, fearing that her partner could leave or persecute her. Arab society is patriarchal, and a woman’s family often opposes the idea of divorce and separation. As a result, Arab women find themselves compelled to keep their wealth in gold pieces as a defensive plan that enhances their feeling of strength and protection.

Today, as Arab women become more educated and their number in the working market grows and they earn their own money, the equation has started to change. As a result, new and more effective ways and means of empowerment —alternatives to storing gold — have become available. 

This certainly affects the extent to which, of how willing they are to buy or demand gold. It also affects how much they accept the idea of subordination to their husband and how much they accept the customs of their tribe.

Laws about women in Arab societies are constantly improving and developing. In addition, people seem more open to new ways due to exposure to other cultures.

All these factors have enabled Arab women to choose their partners independently, with less interference or pressure from their families. But this now means that the woman is faced with the demand to pay a dowry when proposed to. After all, she is the one who chose the man willingly.

Accordingly, women have started to resort to unusual methods and tricks to circumvent the customs and traditions that are sometimes difficult to overcome. 

One of the most common new tricks to remove material obstacles for women who choose a life partner is buying fake gold (called Russian or Italian gold). Despite its low price, fake gold is very similar to real gold in appearance and workmanship, to the point that it is difficult to distinguish between the two. 

By agreement between the newly-weds, this method relieves the groom from the burden of having to pay large sums of money and saves face for the family.

Due to these changes, women are now changing from security seekers, constantly worried about their future, to givers of security due to their financial independence. 

Thus, the relationship between a woman and a man in the Arab world is moving away from the idea of paying gold-based guarantees before they begin their lives together, which is slowly becoming an obsolete idea. 

Cady is a young Jordanian woman of Circassian heritage now living in Germany. She has a bachelor’s degree in English literature and a master’s degree in linguistics. She is interested in languages, cinema, literature, social issues, humanitarian and women issues.

This article was previously published on https://www.only-connect.co.uk/.


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