Last November, Lance Gross, an actor known for his roles in
various Tyler Perry productions, including “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne,” had
to say goodbye to his family for four weeks as he embarked on his first movie
project since the coronavirus lockdown began.
اضافة اعلان
As the film project began to ramp up, it did so with one major
change from the prepandemic times: No one could leave the studio until filming
wrapped. Once the cast and crew arrived on set in Atlanta, with negative
COVID-19 tests, it essentially became a production bubble.
For Gross, 39, it was the longest he had ever spent away from
his wife, Rebecca Gross, 35, a stylist, and their daughter, Berkeley, 6, and
son, Lennon, 2.
It was a shock to the daily routine for all four of them, who
spent every day together for nine months. But it offered something meaningful
to Gross’ psyche.
“I absolutely love what I do,” he said. “To bring characters to
life is a creative pursuit that fulfills me.”
Finding Balance
Like many families, everything changed for the Grosses during
quarantine. Not only did his filming schedule shut down but her personal
styling business was also put on pause.
Instead, the couple, who live in Los Angeles, jumped into
home-schooling their daughter and managing an active toddler, 18 months at the
time. While they had always been very present parents, they had balanced
parenting with their busy careers and rich social lives, allowing them to feel
fulfilled personally and in their relationship with each other. Now, it became
parenting, and only parenting, 24/7.
“As parents, you just do what you have to do — it doesn’t matter
if it’s hard or challenging,” Rebecca Gross said. “But when you put yourself on
the back burner, you will get burned out. It was a journey, but we realized it’s
important to carve out time to be your best partner, your best parent and your
best self.”
Filling Their Love Tanks
A few months ago, she said, they found the trick that helped
them through it all: creating “me” time. She believes that all parents need a
moment to refill their “love tanks” both individually and together.
“When your tank gets really low, it’s harder to cope with
everyday challenges,” she said. “Before quarantine, we were able to build those
tanks without really thinking about it, having personal time, traveling,
working, even small moments in the car playing music. All of that was robbed.”
She recalled a day when her husband walked around the house in a
“grumpy” mood. She realized that he had not been alone; nor did he have a
creative pursuit at the moment, no space to fill his love tank. She told him
that he needed to go take some time for himself. He agreed, and began to
include screenwriting in his daily routine.
Similarly, Rebecca Gross noticed that she missed her
girlfriends. Last fall, she organized a tailgate, where she and a few other
women parked in a socially distant circle in a nearby lot. They sat by their
vehicles with takeout food, going over the high and low points of pandemic
life.
Prioritizing Date Nights
The couple thrive on being a team in the household. Although
they enjoy their roles as parents, they still needed time to nurture their
partnership. They sneaked out for a date night twice a month to a drive-in
movie theater, without their children (they have a nanny that comes regularly,
with proper safety measures put in place). Going to the movies has long been an
integral part of their relationship and gave them some semblance of normalcy
and a chance to bond.
Going back to work also provided a welcome shift in their
schedule and increased the energy they each brought to the family. Both are
creative people and find their respective jobs to be immensely fulfilling.
Despite the unpredictable nature of their careers — the long
hours and hectic travel schedules — they have always supported each other’s
endeavors. It may have required more logistics to do so during the pandemic,
but they made sure to tag-team parenting and household duties to allow each
other to take advantage of professional opportunities.
Through it all, the couple chose to inhabit the happy end of the
spectrum. Lance Gross relishes how he has been there for Lennon’s milestones,
releasing the anxiety that often haunted him on prepandemic travels and film
sets.
He wrote a screenplay, a goal he said he never would have
achieved because of his schedule before the pandemic.
“I looked at it as a positive, because it was a time to reset,”
he said. “To be with my children and my wife for this extended period of time
was such a blessing to me.”
Rebecca Gross developed new ways to connect with Berkeley,
including Friday treats like sushi takeout for lunch or a movie with no little
brother in tow.
As husband and wife, they have devoted time to themselves and
each other, too.
“Life isn’t going to open up a moment for you to distance
yourself from the hustle and bustle of the day to day,” she said. “You have to
be deliberate about it.”
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