Seven months ago, with the first rumblings
that Elon Musk might buy Twitter, I made the decision to pull back from the
site, and use it only to alert people to things like the publication of my
column or my television appearances.
اضافة اعلان
I stopped checking
every day. I stopped publishing original thoughts there. I stopped responding
to other accounts. Twitter went from an integral part of my life to a tool I
hardly used.
Now that Twitter is
teetering, it seems worthwhile to let my readers know what the experience of
walking away has been like.
Cutting back on
Twitter changed my life — for the better.
Twitter engagement,
and most likely social media engagement writ large, changes behavior and maybe
even the brain.
It took weeks for
me to stop worrying that I was missing out on “the conversation”, thinking that
I had irrationally removed myself from “the town square”. These were, in fact,
classic withdrawal symptoms. I had been addicted. But because so many of the
people around me shared that addiction, it felt completely normal.
At first, when I
had thoughts about news I read or saw, it was hard not to immediately share those
thoughts. But, as the weeks wore on, the wisdom of not sharing became
increasingly clear to me.
Sitting with a
thought, as thinkers have throughout human history, has its merits. The thought
grows, is pruned, shaped, and sharpened. Thoughts benefit from being worked
over and wrestled, from consideration and care.
Also, most of the
trouble I have ever created for myself as a professional, I did by tweeting
something that was ill considered or ill expressed in the heat of the moment.
So removing myself
has been one of the smartest and healthiest things I have ever done.
I think that one
day we will look back on this moment in human history with astonishment. Social
media companies turned us all into an unpaid workforce, willingly producing
free content because of our desperation to be seen, heard and liked.
We published our
thoughts as they came to us, and strangers voted on those thoughts with likes.
We came to crave likes. We began to chase them. We began to judge the value of
our thoughts by them.
Twitter engagement, and most likely social media engagement writ large, changes behavior and maybe even the brain.
And for the social
media companies, all this content was a product alongside which ads could be
sold, personal data that would produce valuable consumer profiles.
Insecurity was
monetized. Narcissism became a commodity.
The same is true of
pictures and videos. We came to think it completely normal to document and
share every aspect of our lives, from the food we ate to the clothes we wore to
the advice we could offer to the latest dance craze we could master.
Content, content,
content.
If you were not
creating content, were you truly living? If you have not become a photographer,
videographer, orator, and comedian, what were you doing with your life? Were
you odd, a dud, or just old?
And so, social
media became a collection of highlight reels, an opportunity to chase an
idealized version of life that was a fraction of reality at best and a false
reality at worse.
I had to change my
relationship to social media to make it less toxic and less consuming. I had a
real life to live in the real world. Doing it had to become more important than
documenting it.
The simple rules I
gave myself back in April were these: First, other than alerting people to
columns and appearances, I would limit my social media usage to a single app.
For me, that was Instagram, in part because that was the app on which I had the
fewest followers. I also liked the way I could limit abusive and hateful
interactions.
Second, I would
share actual things that I had done in the real world. I still posted a joke or
commentary or moment of fun here and there. I would even post frivolous things
from time to time. But I was OK with that because my overall volume of posting
was so greatly reduced. I looked at the occasional pointless post much the same
as I would a diet cheat day. But the goal of posting things done in my life
rather than for the apps has helped me to heal my relationship with social
media.
I think the apps
are great for performers. They have given a stage to many who would otherwise
not have had one. I like to watch their performances. I send funny clips to my
friends every day.
But we have to
remove the expectation that we should all be performers. We are not and
shouldn’t be. And there is nothing wrong with that.
I like where I have
landed on social media usage. I like that I no longer feel the need to post
every day. I like that now I post only what I like. I like that I encounter
less venom.
I do not know if
Twitter will survive the Musk era, and the turmoil at the company does not
concern me.
What I wanted to
share with you was that you don’t need Twitter — or any social media — nearly
as much as you think you do. In fact, your life would likely feel much fuller
if you too went on a strict Twitter diet.
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