NEW YORK— Even with children already back in the classroom,
it’s never too late to talk to them about how they feel returning to class,
especially if there’s a very real possibility that they may be exposed to the
coronavirus, and may need to be tested — or to isolate. This can be alarming
for parents, and frightening for some children. Kids may also be disappointed
if they have to miss out on certain activities.
اضافة اعلان
One of the best things you can do to prepare your child for
this risk, no matter their age, is to explain that there are plans in place
should someone be exposed. Here are six ways to help them deal with whatever
feelings may come up in the event that an exposure notification arrives.
Understand what your child knows
There’s a lot of information (and misinformation) swirling
around about the pandemic, and what is understood is changing so quickly that
children can find it confusing — as can adults, said Elizabeth Rapa, a senior
researcher at the University of Oxford department of psychiatry.
First, ask children what they already know and understand
about the rules that the school has in place for keeping them safe, and welcome
their questions, said Dr Anna Miller-Fitzwater, a clinical associate professor
of pediatrics at Wake Forest University School of Medicine in North Carolina.
What have your kid’s teachers and administrators
“officially” said in school? What have kids been hearing from friends or on the
news?
If your own understanding of the school’s policy is
different from how your child is explaining it, you might want to clarify with
the school — and if there is misinformation floating around, correct it.
Acknowledge frankly to children that exposures may happen.
But remind them that following the procedures for when they do occur helps them
protect their friends and classmates and, ultimately, should help keep schools
open.
Dr Adam Ratner, director of the division of pediatric
infectious diseases at Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital at NYU Langone, said the
overall message parents should convey about school safety protocols, from masks
to exposure notifications, should be positive: “This is how we’re going to beat
this, this is how we’re going to keep school safe this year.”
Also, be willing to admit if you don’t know the answers to
all of your child’s questions, and to research the answers together. Difficult
or complicated conversations like these should be ongoing, never one-and-done,
and should start well before the moment they’re immediately relevant.
Devise a backup plan
If you have a young child who needs to isolate at home,
figure out how you will handle it now. Can you work remotely for a short period
of time? Do you have a friend, family member, or babysitter who can pitch in at
the last minute and is comfortable with COVID safety protocols?
Reviewing these plans with your child may help them feel a
sense that things are under control.
If your child is exposed, acknowledge and validate any
feelings that arise
For many children who are glad to be back in school, close
contact with someone who has tested positive for the coronavirus will mean
inconveniences and disappointments — getting tested, missing school, staying
home from planned activities if isolation is required. You want your child to
feel free to discuss those feelings with you.
If your child needs to isolate in such a situation, they may
react in a variety of ways, said Louise Dalton, a consultant clinical
psychologist at the University of Oxford department of psychiatry. “Some may
feel really anxious and worried, some may feel really angry with the person
they think exposed them,” she said. Some children will be furious that they
have to stay home, but others may be happy about it.
Parents should “validate and normalize their child’s
response,” said Melissa Cousino, a psychologist and an associate professor of
pediatrics at the University of Michigan CS Mott Children’s Hospital. “I often
say, ‘This worry that you are feeling or this anger that you are feeling, it’s
a normal response to the abnormal,’” she said. The pandemic is what is strange
— and wrong — in the world, not the child’s emotions.
Children in middle or high school are more likely to be
upset about the social impact of an exposure, such as missing time with
friends, school events, or sports. “Life was starting to return to some kind of
normalcy,” Cousino said, and now that has been interrupted. Understand what is
most upsetting for that particular child, and if possible, work with the school
to recover the opportunity: “It may not be the worry of getting sick, it may be
the worry of missing tryouts for that sports team.”
If your child is in preschool or elementary school, Rapa
said, give them the facts without scaring them, and keep it practical: “You’re
going to stay indoors with us because we don’t want to infect anyone else.”
Reassure them that as a family, you’ll get through it together, she said, and
offer concrete details and plans about the time at home.
Be alert to magical thinking in this age group — children
may have strong ideas about how they were exposed or why they might get
infected, sometimes linking completely unrelated events. Or they may be
reaching for an unrealistic solution.
Pay attention to your child’s temperament and anxiety level,
Dalton said. If a child is anxious about the possibility of getting sick, offer
specific reassurance that for the most part, children have only mild illness
with COVID, if they have any symptoms at all.
Model appropriate coping strategies
“We know that how children cope with adversity is strongly
associated with how the adult parents and caregivers in their life cope with
adversity,” Cousino said. Parents can talk about their own strategies for
carrying on, she said, maybe explaining that when they feel worried, it helps
to take a walk or to listen to music.
It’s important, though, not to blame others. An exposure
doesn’t necessarily happen because someone did something wrong or reckless.
Helping children understand what they can do to protect themselves by carefully
following the guidelines should not mean that they end up blaming themselves if
they actually do test positive — or blaming other people. “Avoid language that
leaves a stigma,” Miller-Fitzwater said. “Make sure they understand this wasn’t
someone else’s intention.”
Keep a consistent schedule
When school is interrupted, Dalton said that maintaining
structure and routine is key. Keep bedtimes and wake times consistent, and
schedule regular mealtimes and exercise. Making things as predictable and
routine as possible will be reassuring for kids, and will help prepare them for
the transition back to school.
Also, ask teachers about what work needs to be accomplished
while the child is out, Miller-Fitzwater said. “It’s really easy to devolve
into screen time, but I would caution parents about making sure children stay
active doing productive school work.”
Recognize the progress, along with the frustrations
Children ages 12 and older, of course, should be vaccinated
by now. But that doesn’t mean they won’t have to face exposure notices,
depending on the protocols and regulations of their individual schools and
school systems. It does, however, mean they will be much less at risk of
catching the coronavirus, and if they do get infected, the risk of serious
illness should be low.
Paradoxically, that may mean that some teenagers are more
likely to feel angry and resentful if exposures happen and they are told they
have to stay home, isolate, or get tested. They may feel they have done their
part, and are now being imposed on perhaps because others didn’t. Their
hard-won “normalcy” of being back in school, back in their extracurricular
activities, back in sports, has now been interrupted.
Talk this through in advance with your child, pointing out
that “even if you’re super careful, there are going to be cases in school,”
Ratner said, adding to tell them, “The only thing we can do is play by the
rules. If you need to get tested, you get tested, if you need to stay home for
a couple of days, you stay home, if that’s what gets you the possibility to go
back.”
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